It's a Girl!

Hello, I'm Dr. Juice. I'm here to take your temperature.

Yes, that is me in my *scrubs*. I think I make a good looking Doctor. Dr. Juice....has a nice ring to it.

Anyway my daughter was born yesterday....She was supposed to be a He, but hey what can I do? To tell the truth, I did tell them to stick her back in to bake a little longer, as the penis wasn't done yet. But here She is. My little bundle of joy.....shit, piss and lets not forget about the drool. She looks just like me! Dark skin, dark hair....Blue eyes though, I know, I know, that could change. I hope not though, they would really make her standout. Not that I want that mind you...I do have a shotgun and DO know how to use it.....Remember that.....Good life note...

She was born at 1:12pm 6'2".

That's her less then 2 Min's after being pulled out. My wife had a C-Section for our first child, due to complications, so they recommend one for your second. So they pulled her out and cried "It's a girl!" Then went to work on removing the umbilical cord (you can see it in the picture) weighed her measured and so on. She cried for about 2 Min's, then they wrapped her up, handed her to me, and She cuddled into my arms and fell asleep. What a Great kid!

HA! I bet you though it was going to be some sappy ass, "Ohh my new daughter is so cute!", kinda shit.

Fuck That! I got some shit to say. And to tell you the truth, I may not be able to cover it all in this one post. Yeah that's right, I got some shit to rant about.

First off, We had to be there for 10am. OK, No problem. We were there ready to go at 9:45am. Waited in a line up of all of 2 people....Fuck they must have been really busy, as we waited for 20 Min's. So finally we get to the admitting station, they take all my wife information, then ask if we would like to pay for the phone now. If we don't pay now it will be billed to us. $2.50 a day + 3 day stay=$7.75. Sure, we'll pay now. Less to worry about later. So I hand her $8.00. "We don't have change.", She says. WTF do you mean, you don't have change? WTF. You want me to pay for something, but you can't make change? WTF is that? Fuck it! Bill me.

So we get sent through the security doors, to talk to the next nurse that will bring us to our pre-op room. It's 10.15 at this point. "Your rooms not ready yet.", the nurse tells us. Are you fucking kidding me? You tell us to "make sure" we are her by 10am and you don't even have a room ready? OK, stay calm.....She tell us to wait in the waiting room at the end of the hall. So we walk down the hall to the end...WTF there are 3 waiting rooms. Well....what room do we wait in? Fuck it ones as good as another.

10:30 rolls around, and we finally get brought to our room, after being told we were in the wrong room...MAYBE you should have told us what fucking room to wait in, you stupid fucking *^%^$$ %^*(*^&% $%^&$ %*& *&&*

OK, I didn't sleep much the night before all this, I may be a little on edge, just a little....BUT, I kept my cool....Sorta

At this point I have to mention all the notices practically on every wall in the hospital about the H1N1 Swine/Pig/Goat/Hamster Flu.

"Cough into your Sleeve or Armpit, Wash your hands, Stop the spread!"

Do people do this?.....NO....People are fucking gross....I would tell you some of the things I saw, but Even I don't want to hear about it.

Anyhow, our pre-op nurse was great, very nice woman....aside from coughing into her HANDS every 2 Min's....Ummm, yeah have you not seen the signs all over the place? Oh, look there's one on that wall there...to your left....Fuck, I don't want my wife back here in 2-3 weeks with that Hamster flu shit.

Our (my wife's) C-Section is scheduled for 12:00 noon. The nurse tell us that things are slow so we should probably get in early, more like 11:30. Hey, that's fantastic! The excitement is killing us! 12:15 they finally come to get us.
"OK, baby time!", we are told. Right on, lets get this show on the road!

They take us down to the O.R. room
"Humm, wheres the O.R. Nurse?", The woman says, and leaves us in the hall waiting.....again.
She returns shortly after with another Nurse, She laughs while telling us, that she forgot that there was another C-Section (there was a couple before us, had a girl too, cute kid.) So the O.R. wasn't prepared at all....

OK, stay calm....Don't lose your cool....Be funny fun loving guy....

They take my wife in so she can talk to them while they are getting the room ready and I am told to wait outside. So I waited....and waited....for a what seemed like for fucking ever! They Finally came to get me almost an hour later...Things started at 12:15, the baby was birthed at 1:12....

About fucking time.

I do have more to say, Trust me. But its now 12:30am and I have to be back at the hospital for 6am to help my wife....if I'm not she'll kill me. So this will be a,

"To Be Cont."