New Shit!

Once again, I'm back!!! Okay...well see...

Well what a Fucked up month Dec. and Jan. has been. Christmas...New Years...BEER! Presents!!! Turkey! Pot licker!!!!

Ok, well the presents thing for me and from me not so much. Hey I'm not a Dick hear me out! My wife and I have not had to much money as of late but we had about $400 to spend on gifts.

Now let me give you some background on Christmas for me. Growing up as a young little tyke, It was just my Mother, Baby brother and me. My Mom worked 2 or 3 jobs, payed the bills, took care of my brother and me as best a she could. Christmas was always the best time of the year! The presents!!!Ohhh, the presents!!! Waking up to find that Santa Clause had been there! What better thing for a child!

Not knowing then what I know know, But Christmas must have been a REALLY tight time for my Mom. See, you have to understand. my Christmas stocking was an old sock. My best gift would have been a set of Dinky Cars or a (new at the time) Transformer. I remember living in Alberta and getting the autobot Jukebox guy...I can't remember his name....Nemesis will give me a leture on this later....

All in all Christmas was small for me.

Then was the year of 1988 (I think), I was 8 years old (yeah do the math, I was born 1980, I know I'm a Young/Old guy... depending on your age) I got NINTENDO!!! Holy FucK!!! OMG!!! WTF!!! This is the greatest thing in the whole wide world!!! I got Super Mario Bros, Duck Hunt and Metroid. Weeks of my life gone...Well, OK...in the grand scheme of things...Years...To explain the whole ordeal of it all would take way to much time, But I will say thank you to my Grandma and Grandpa Yeaman.

But I digress...(Oooo, intelligent word!) When it comes down to it Christmas for me was small. Nothing wrong with that though, it was always a happy time. My mother always made sure of that. LOL, I still remember our Chinese Santa Clause one year!!!!

So along comes my wife...WTF!!! HOLY FUCK!!!! $%&*()%^$%^&!!!!

Jesus, Christmas is like a religion onto itself with these people! I know for a fact that the Wife's mother has Christmas presents in reserve for me. Shit she has had for a few years...Just in case! Like WTF!!! I'm not used to this shit! I feel so out of place....

"Hey I got you a candle!"

"Oh, thanks. Here is a DVD burner, a set of wireless headphones, a new set of winter boots and Socks"...Fuck I love getting socks...I mean that, seriously. I would be happy with like 10 packs of Socks. I never have enough, my wife steals them, I wear them out in no time...I LOVE SOCKS!!!

WoW, What do you say to that..."It's a newfie alarm clock! Stick it in your ass to the time you want to wake up and light it!"

That's my wife parents. My parents are much more relaxed...More about the Christmas dinner. Salt beef!!!!...!!!! Salt beef!!!! Greatest Shit on the planet..and my MOM makes it the best!!!...

Fuck you MY MOM will BEAT your mom up!!!

Every year, my parents say, "Don't get us anything, things are tight for everyone." Then they give us a bunch of stuff and we don't really have anything...See shit like that makes me feel bad...

But this year I told everyone That I was only getting shit for my oldest daughter. The youngest is less then 2 months so its OK, she wont remember. I wanted to get something Super spacial for my oldest. I wanted to give her my "Nintendo" per se.

So I bought her a laptop. She is always stealing my computer. Leading to many arguments and crying (on her part,I swear!). I want her to be computer literate. So I spent every penny...and then some... to get her one...

She LOVES it! i am so proud of myself...I had to forgo presents for others of my family, including my wife..I have never done that before...But I think it was worth it...

I no longer have to cry about not being able to play on my computer.