It's ??:?? O'clock Do you kow where your kids are.

I wanna talk about kids. You know those little cute bundles of puke, shit, slobber...oh, and Joy.

People if you have kids, WATCH THEM. They are getting in trouble. I'm not talking about teens or even preteens, although you should keep an eye on them too (the little fuckers) But I mean the younger ones. Too often these days I see way to many unwatched kids wreaking havoc out there in our streets.

Let me ask you this. Should a 5 year old child be playing in the middle of a road unwatched? NO?! How dare you say, NO. What kind of parent are you? Oohhh, a good one!
That's right, the road is no place for a kid. Fuck, Its not safe for an adult these days. Especially Smokers. OK, Well how about letting your 3 year old be taken to the store that is half a click away, by their 5 year old brother. NO, Are you kidding me? That's wrong you say? Why, that 5 year old will know what to do in case a bad situation happens. He's a responsible little guy. He can almost wipe his own ass. He knows how to use a toaster! Unfortunately, he hasn't mastered the round peg square hole thing yet.

All too often I see this...well actually I see it almost everyday. There are a lot of kids that play on our road, and our road is quite busy. People speed through it constantly. We had to have speed bumps installed because of this. Not that it made a difference. Yet, Parents (Crackhead lady) still lets their children play unsupervised where all these cars are speeding by.

We have a lady (I use this term loosely)....Let's call her, Ummmm...aaahhww... Crackhead lady! She has two young children, both under six. Both are never watched. EVER. I have almost run both of these kids over multiple times. I can honestly say that I don't go flying through our complex. I take my time, as there are so many kids running around. But, even so these kids just run out into the road without looking. All the time. Uh, WTF happened too, "Your to young to cross the road". Come on anyone my age has told the story about trying to run away from home. You know the one. You got to the end of the street and couldn't cross the road, so had to turn back and go back home. Shit like that doesn't happen anymore. Fucking kids end up at the airport.

Yes, I had a neighbours kid end up there it has happened. Yet another fine example of good parenting.

Where are all the good parents? What happened to all of our good children? Is it the music they listen to? No, That's bullshit. Any parent that blames music is using it as a scapegoat. I listened to Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Manson...etc... You don't see me running around killing people. Well not yet anyway.....Joking...or am I?

There is another kid on our street. You just have to look at this kid to know he is bad news. He looks like trouble. Fucking kid thought it would be funny to scream into my car window as I was driving by him. He stood as close as he could so when he screamed I thought I had run over his foot or something. "Holy shit!" Is this kid alright? I hope I didn't hurt him....Fucking kid was so close to dieing when I discovered that he was just being a fucking retard. Give me a fucking heart attack!
"What you think that was funny?" I asked him.
"NO" ....NO?, WTF. At least be fucking honest. What?, It's not funny anymore because I stopped and got out of my car? You can tell I'm about to kill you. Yeah, ...Not that fucking funny was it. "Then why did you do it?"
"I don't know.", saying this with a smile on his face....Can I kill him?....No...I can at least beat him black and blue right?
No?...OK, so what can I do?
I can tell his parents...Yeah....They seem to be doing a great job at raising him to begin with...But, none the less I truck on over to his parents house. I'll let them know what just happened.

"What do you want me to do about it?" they say.

Are you fucking kidding me? You have to be joking right. Yeah, that's a good joke..............You are kidding..........right? The blank stare I get is priceless. This is a woman who has no idea what her kid is up too, let alone cares....insert lots of cursing here.... Fucking retards need to stop breeding.

At this point I would like to say that my version of retard is; A fucking stupid ass motherfucker of a prick who has no fucking idea how to be a normal ass fucking person because he/she is too fucking stupid to fucking understand or comprehend anything. (actual challenged people excluded....insert gray area)

Or something like that...

Either way, I scared the shit out of this kid. I know that he wont be doing anything like that to me or my family again. For the next few weeks anyway.

When it comes down to it, WATCH YOUR FUCKING KIDS....



Testicles, that is all....

Anyone got a lighter?

I am a smoker. Yep, that's me. I'm one of those fucks that pollutes the air you breath... Fuck that shit! Stop whining you stupid D.U.M. fucks. My little tiny smoke is not destroying the environment. It is not killing you. But, because I smoke, I get fucking screwed at every turn.

I started smoking when I was 14 years old. Yeah its young and I DO regret it, but it happened. Trying to impress a girl and all that. When I started, a pack of smokes was $3. Whats the price of them now? $10+ WTF! is that. Lets keep raising the price of cigarettes because we all know that those evil smokers wont quit, this way we can make a ton of money off them...We can call it a "sin tax". Ummm, Extortion much. This is our government. The Mob.

Then they take smoking out of restaurants and bars, Unless you have a separate ventilated area. Cool, OK, you can close us away in a little box. Yep, a little small fucking box. Almost every Bar/Restaurant I went to had the tiny little box completely filled with people, with a lineup to get in. While the non-smoking area was....Ummm, where are all the non-smokers? I thought they wanted us out of there so they could enjoy themselves. NO, you fucking bitch whine and complain to get what you want. You don't even know what the fuck you want.

Then to top that off. They take away our little tiny boxes.Yeah that's right, they took them away, just as we were starting to like them! Why?, You ask. Because the waiter/waitress has got to go in there. OK, fine. Fucking whiny ass bitches.

Ok, so now we all have to step outside the door, go outside to have a smoke....Fine I will freeze my ass off, get wet in the rain, whatever I have to do. Just to be understanding. I will be the bigger man and not complain .I wouldn't want anyone to go out of there way for me at all.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I have to stand 10m away from the door to have my smoke?" OK, WTF, So I can't smoke inside or in a little tiny box or outside....Umm, where the fuck can I go?

Now, smoking is a bad thing. It is. It will cause cancer...or so they tell us.

The exhaust from cars cause cancer as well. Much more quickly I might add. Tell you what, I can sit in my car with the windows up, chain smoke an entire pack of smokes and MAYBE feel a little light headed...Now lets route the exhaust of your car into the cab. I give you about 5 Min's before you are dead. Yep that's right D E A D. My cigarette pumps out carbon dioxide/monoxide just like a car does. Only the car does it 10,000 times faster.

Almost everyone has a car...How many smokers are there?

I don't see people complaining about any cars in front of said restaurant. Oh, that's right the cars are outside....Wait, WTF so am I! Why the fuck am I so fucking evil? I'll put money down on the fact that the same people that complain about all us evil smokers own 2+ vehicles. A giant gas guzzling, exhaust spewing SUV. But, my tiny little smoke is killing everyone.

Ever sat back and wondered if people died of all these cancers say 100 years ago, 200 years ago? Sure they did. Not in the numbers people do today. Back then cancer was an uncommon thing. Today people are dropping like flies. It must be the smokes. Wait a minute though, people have been smoking for more then 200 years. Fuck they been lighting up those pipes for at least 3-4000 years. No it must be these filters they have on cigarettes now. Those evil fucking filters!

Could it be the cars? As more cars are put on the road, cancer rates have risen as well. There are less smokers today then there were 20 years ago, but cancer is still on the rise. Oh yeah, fuck silly me, its all that second hand...oh yeah that's right, the only place I can smoke is under my covers, in bed, at home, at 3am. Any other time I may offend someone.

Oh, what was that? Their talking about banning smoking in apartment buildings. So now we can't smoke in our own homes....

I'm not offended. I don't mind being segregated. Labeled a bad person because I like to enjoy my life to the fullest.

"Smoking shortens your life!" So do car accidents, falling bricks, the hamster flu, lightning, choking, drowning and calling your wife fat. Just to name a few.

These same people that complain, I'll bet drink. Well drinking lead to liver disease, drunk driving, waking up next to ugly people, premature aging and social disparity. I say we rally together and kick these bastards out of our bars. They are killing people with their drunk driving, namely us smokers, as we are the one out on the sidewalks and the roads. Targets to be run over!

Run hide!

The evils of shopping

So it's my one and only day off this week and I woke up early. Yeah that's right no sleeping in for me. 7:30am my eye's opened and would not close again. But, no big deal. I will survive.

So I crawled/fell out of bed with the intentions of doing nothing today. I almost succeeded. Minus having to make coffee...twice, I had to do some grocery shopping. Now, unlike most guys I know I like shopping for food. You wouldn't think so by looking at me as I'm a skinny little fuck, But I love my food. I also love to cook. So walking around in a grocery store to me is like a wonderland of discovery.

BUT, I Fucking hate other shoppers. People are just Fucking retarded in these cornucopia's of foodly goodness.

Why would you park your cart at the very end of an isle, sideways so no one can pass. On top of that let's leave our 1y/o child in the cart and walk away to another isle. Now lets say I did this hypothetically. If I came back and saw someone who dresses like me moving off with MY cart with MY child in it, I would fucking freak out. What the fuck is this weird ass guy doing with my child!?

This is the situation I came up against today. WFT, who the hell leaves a small child unattended, blocking the end of an isle? After some looking around I finally find the owner of this kid.

"You wanna move your cart?" I ask.

"Give me a min, I'm busy." he replies, not even looking at me...Excuse me....Your busy? Fuck you you little fucking fuck of a fuck. OK..., Breath..., I tell myself. You have your daughter with you. Set a good example. You are in control of the situation.

"Well your cart is blocking the isle, can you please move it."

Once again without looking at me, he replies,"I said, I'm busy." none to nicely either.

OK, wrong fucking answer fucktard. I'm not exactly a big guy or anything far from it. I'm 6'1" about 140-150lbs. But the way I dress I can be intimidating. I am a metal head. Big boots, Band shit, etc. This guy is maybe 5'4" 100lbs soaking wet with a brick in his pocket. Looking back to see what my daughter is doing, I see she is grabbing a few boxes of Kraft Dinner. Perfect!

Leaning forward, I calmly say,"If you don't move your cart, your face is going to become a part of it." He finally turns to face me, with a scowl on his face. First looking at my chest, his eye's move slowly up to my face. I could tell he was about to say something, probably something along the lines of, "Fuck you" but he smartly kept his mouth shut. Suffice to say he moved his cart.

Now I do have to admit, that this very rarely happens to me. My best friend gets to do this kinda stuff all the time. The guy is huge. Not the type of person you fuck with at all. But for me, I have to pick and chose my battles. Oh, the glory. Fucking fucktard. That's right move your shit! Bitch!

All this and my daughter saw nothing. Fantastic!

So moving on,as my little girl and I are walking through the store we can hear a couple have a pretty good argument. Everyone in the store could here these people for a good ten min's. We were grabbing some pop, when the couple comes up behind us. They are having an argument about money. Not the best place to argue but hey, in the heat of the moment, one place is as good as another. My problem was the language spilling from this guys mouth. My virgin ears! OK....So I swear with the best of them, but not in front of children. The odd cruse pops out, sorry, but as a whole, I have respect for the fact that this is the type of language our kids should not know. Until they learn it at the playground.

I turn to the guy and say,"Hey, you mind watching your language, There are kids around." Pointing to my daughter.

"Fuck you and your daughter!" He says. Oh...No...You...DIDN'T!! You wanna say shit like that to me, Fine. But never, ever,FUCKING EVER, say that shit to my daughter! As he is say this to me, The manager of the store is walking up to him. Before I can retaliate the manager is asking him to leave. His attention is then taken away from me and he starts to argue with him.Fuck! Oh what I wouldn't have given to say my piece to this fucknut. WTF is wrong with people. Come on, saying that shit to a kid! This guy needs a good fucking ass whooping. I would have given my left nut to be the one who did it.

Finally, I've gotten everything on my list. Time to get the fuck out of this hell hole. I find the shortest line. Yeah shortest line...that's right I get the line that not only does the cashier have to call for a price check, but the 1000 year old woman paying for it all has to pay in pennies...OK you ant to pay in change, Cool, I understand. But do me one favor. If you know you will be paying with a bunch of change.

HAVE THAT FUCKING CHANGE READY!!!!

Holy fuck, What the fuck is wrong with you. You know what every grocery store need is a Senior citizens line. Call it the "Slow ass old people with nothing but pennies line"

God, people are fucked! Next time I got shopping, My daughter stays at home. Give me a little bit more leeway....